"Hey, we love your playing!"
-Shut up and play what we tell you.
"Welcome to the band!"
-We can't afford to pay a session guy, so we need someone who will play for free. Oh, and shut up and play what we tell you.
"Help us pick out a kit for the studio so we can save time and you won't have to carry so much stuff!"
-We're going to ignore your recommendations and buy you a kit that is more expensive for no good reason, smaller than you need, a different wood than you prefer, set up however we want. And you're an ass if you don't like it, because we're making your life easier. All you need is stuff to hit anyway, it's not like drums are a real musical instrument and drummers might make informed choices based on musical knowledge or past experience.
"Yeah, we're gonna have to disagree on that point."
-You're out of the band.